The only money I’ve had in my wallet the past couple of days has been a Canadian $20 bill, which has been cause for much frustration, as I have been unable to purchase anything. Canadian money is essentially amusement park money—in exchange for giving them real money, you get multi-colored pieces of paper which are only redeemable in Canada. They may as well call them “Fun Bux,” because everyone knows it’s not real money. Hell, Canada isn’t even a real country.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Canada just as much as the next guy. But look at their nickel, for example: Apparently, they once had a beaver as President. And on their dime, they have a picture of a sailboat. A sailboat as President! That’s preposterous. And when they do have a picture of an actual person on their money, it’s always Queen Elizabeth II, and, for all I know, the only thing she ever did was probably something lame like cause the liberation of Quebec from the French. Nice try, Canada.

The only time I can ever get some studying done is when I stay up all night, but when I do that, I start going insane. For example, last Monday at 5am I had a lengthy discussion with a ceiling fan. I’m not even kidding. Also, sometimes during these nights I do a lot of things that surprise me later on, such as when I discovered that I had created the first-ever Wickensworth comic strip. This comic makes so little sense that it doesn’t even not make sense, if that makes sense, so don’t read it unless you are retarded.