Itís easy to conceive of socks as being members of a pair, since we have two feet and each sock is its own separate entity. Meanwhile, I canít say Iíve ever encountered an underpant as detached from its pair. Iím not even sure what underpants are supposed to be pairs of. Are you seriously telling me a single underpant would just be one leg hole? Iím not even going to attempt to visualize such a retarded garment.
As a rule of thumb, if you canít separate something, itís not a pair. I donít really care how many sides of your ass it covers. Like we donít call a hat a ďpair of hatsĒ just because itís placed above both your ears. Nor should we should call a pair of underpants anything but an underpant. From now on, if you say youíre wearing a pair of underpants, youíre wearing two separate underpants, one over the other, like a little baby afraid of making an accident. Also, if you say youíre wearing a pair of hats, youíre only wearing one hat. Iím pleased to announce that hats will now be called pairs of hats.