Tomorrow is Halloween, which if I recall correctly commemorates the anniversary of when Jesus dressed up as a Pokemon creature and received candy from all of his neighborhood friends. Basically, Halloween celebrates the concept of making kids dress up as terrible monsters and letting them eat hundreds of Snickers bars which they receive from trespassing in random elderly peoples’ houses. There is also some kind of tradition about pumpkins, but I don’t really know what the hell those are supposed to symbolize. I think that whatever lunatic designed Halloween just said, “fuck it, it’s almost November and we have a lot of pumpkins. You can’t really do anything with pumpkins. Let’s just carve these bastards.” It’s the same thing with Thanksgiving. “Eh, we still got a few pumpkins left over. Hell, let’s make a pie.”

Another thing about Halloween is that it is full of many spooks and surprises such as skeletons, witches and ghouls! It is a very exciting time of the year indeed! Let’s all celebrate!