Elmer the Bull

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I see the face of this horrifying bull creature from the Elmerís Glue bottles. He sits there smirking in his little orange triangle, so pleased with himself that he managed to become the mascot for a glue company even though bulls have nothing to do with glue. The most grotesque thing about him is that heís white like the glue itself, which implies that heís some sort of glue monster.

Since Iím a scholar, I looked up Elmer the Bull on Wikipedia and became even more repulsed by what I read. It turns out heís actually married to that cow from Bordenís dairy products, which I didnít even know was legal. This is a perfect illustration of why you shouldnít look everything up on Wikipedia. Now the mental image I see of this Satanic glue creature also involves the Borden dairy cow and itís all I can do not to vomit. Congratulations, Elmer, I am now lactose intolerant.

3 thoughts on “Elmer the Bull

  1. The bull is the mascot for Elmer’s because white glue is made from a milk product called casein. I suppose Elmer the Bull was smart to marry Elsie the Cow because now he has a steady supply of the milk he requires to make all the glue that little boys and girls need for their macaroni art. Incidentally, this protein, casein, and its superior bonding ability are the reason that you should drink milk to counteract the effects of spicy food. The only reason I know theese fun facts is because of a middle school science experiment where we made silly putty out of school glue and borax.

  2. In painting with water color it is paramount that acid free paper is used.Also the means to adhere the art to the mounting board must be appropriate. Most tapes are not recommended. Please tell me if there are any adverse effects to use Elmer’s glue to mount art work.

    Thank you,

    Al Celenza

  3. Don’t you love how they also had children? lol.

    They had messed up names too.
    “Their offspring included Beulah, Beauregard, and twins Larabee and Lobelia.”

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