The worst part about a concert is when the band leaves the stage for the first time and the audience is meant to stand around and cheer for an encore like a bunch of morons. But there will be no actual encore, friends—this is merely a ritualistic appeal to the musicians’ vanity. In reality these motherfuckers haven’t even finished their set.
Everyone is nevertheless delighted when, in a moment of spontaneity, the band reappears onstage to perform a meticulously-choreographed rendition of their most popular song. Why must we go through this whole song-and-dance? Come on, guys, I’ve got shit to do. Tell you what—if you’re done performing, go ahead and turn on the lights so I can actually get out of here. If you want to leave the stage so badly, I’m not going to stand around clapping for you to come back. Just get in your fucking van and go home.