I feel very dirty when I need to purchase a can of peas. For some reason they’re always labeled “Young Tender Sweet Peas” or “All-Natural Young Baby Peas.” Other grocery shoppers are quick to judge me when I purchase a can of peas, thinking me for some kind of pervert. That’s why I always cry, “It’s for a recipe!” and then bolt out of the aisle in tears. These other shoppers know as well as I do that my peas aren’t for any so-called recipe. Sometimes I just like to have some young tender peas around.