12-hour clocks

Just because the face of a clock is oriented so that 12 is the start of a new day doesn’t mean 12pm has the right to follow 11am. Where I come from, you don’t count up a series of something and then randomly switch units. If one begins a sequence of AM hours in a base-12 numbering scheme, one would eventually expect to arrive at 12am. But you get to 12 and all of a sudden PM bursts in all like, “Who wants lunch, bitches?” Where the fuck did you come from? What have you done with 1pm through 11pm? Oh, you mean to tell me we’re going to count through those hours now? After we’ve just put up with 12pm’s childish antics? Go fuck yourself, time.

16 thoughts on “12-hour clocks

  1. Self proclaimed! I love the sight but you made a typo. You meant 1pm ThRough 11 pm, not though. I got the joke anyway, I guess.

  2. Believe it or not, I stumbled upon your site by asking Jeeves how many Land Before Time sequels there were. After reading your article on the topic (and learning that there are, in fact, thirteen) and laughing for about ten straight minutes, I proceeded to read a bunch of other random entries and I have come to the conclusion that you are the funniest person ever. Congratulations!

  3. As a long time reader, first time writer, I have gotten addicted to posting. This will be my last for a while, but I think you should try to sell some stuff to a monthly publication called funny times. http://www.funnytimes.com

  4. Allison, what do you do if you have to make appointments or plans? You must use 12 hour time then, right? Otherwise, everyone will think you’re a jackass.

  5. i have always hated this about our system of time!!!!!!!!
    true story: when i was in 2nd grade or whenever the hell we learned about AM and PM, i had a 20-minute debate with the teacher about this exact conundrum.
    it ended, disappointingly, with something like “well, that’s just the way it is.”
    fuck time, man…

  6. Melissa, 24-hour time is used in most of Europe. Are you calling all Europeans jackasses? Are you calling me a jackass? You don’t even know me!

    Allison, you go girl! I keep my time sheets in 24-hour (or military) time. Makes it easier to calculate how many hour I’ve worked.

    And for all: time has existed before humans. Maybe we should give it a little more respect and learn its rules.

  7. As mentioned above, Europe has 1/2 solved the problem.

    I once spent a day wondering Bucharest Romania in a rented taxi, finally spending my last two joyous hours in Romania at the “Peasant Museum” a collection of homes dating back hundreds of years.

    When I arrived at the airport, I was slichtly sidmayed to find that in fact, my flight was scheduled for 14:25, not 4:25 PM as I had thought, until I looked at the ticket and saw that in fact there was a “1” that had printed over some other permanently printed wording on the ticket.

    So aside from the extra money for the driver and the $3 for the Peasant Museum, I had to spend an extra $300 to get the f*ck out of Romania.

    Why can’t the whole world just speak and number American? We’re number 1… we’ll we used to be at least.



  8. Seems my thinking back to my time in Amsterdam, after leaving Romania, still has an effect on my typing…

    …wAndering Romania…
    …sliGtly DiSmayed…

    Don’t want “Ekarj’s Biggest Fan #1” shoving his gigantic, cock-sized, spell checker down my throat.



  9. @Mellisa, I convert the time when talking to others, I just keep all my clocks (the digital) ones) in military time because it makes more sense to me.

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