Everybody knows that corporate websites have absolutely no value. Upon visiting them, you’ll first be confronted with a seven-minute flash animation that will eventually ask you to select your preferred language. Not content with this, they’ll also want to know exactly which country you’re visiting from, and since they are for some reason unable to interpret your IP address, you’ll need to go ahead and click one of a dozen flags that are being juggled by the silhouette of a bear on a unicycle. Next you’ll be treated to another needlessly elaborate animation from which eventually emerges a menu that is more difficult to navigate than the Bermuda triangle. If you are resilient to motion sickness and very patient, congratulations–you may now enter the serial number you’ve found on the back of your bottle cap for your chance to instantly win a shitty baseball cap.
It’s all just one big circus to these people, isn’t it? Well the internet wasn’t always that way–ten years ago it was even more ridiculous. Please join me for a very special episode of eKarjala: Internet ’96.
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