Yo! Happy new year! My resolution for the new year is simple: Update eKarjala and post a picture of myself holding a green umbrella inside what appears to be a dorm room.

eKarjala has been updated … for this?

I don’t know why I’m beginning to update this site again, or what sort of junk I’m even going to cover, but that feeling of uncertainty is good. I think the reason I’d become so bored with updating before was because the only things that made sense to talk about were the same sort of nonsense I’ve always talked about, and that had become tired inasmuch as it felt required. I don’t like doing things out of necessity–my efforts must come from a genuine, lazy indifference to prove effective. Also, I had to switch from Tripod to this Michigan State server because Tripod is retarded. It’s named after a camera stand! I think that’s bullshit.

The Archives and everything won’t be included here until I find the time to switch them over from my old Tripod space. In the meantime, click on the picture below to download a very special movie I made a few years ago about buying ice cream from ice cream trucks. It’s large, and so I might not be able to leave the link up for very long, but it’s OK for now. Update: Movie no longer available for download.

Despite the ice cream truck door’s warning of children, we didn’t see a single one.

Also, click here for the second-ever Wickensworth comic strip.

This is what my mom emailed me recently: “I was disappointed in your additions to your web site. If you can’t write more than one line, don’t bother. I can’t even believe it.” Well, I’ve decided that eKarjala will return soon, but it might be more differenter than ever. When will it return, you ask? The begining of January, I reply. As a matter of fact, let’s say the very first of January. This is when eKarjala will return. And you know what? I’m fine with that. Until then, I may not update at all, or I may just update in single lines. So believe it. Please believe it, mom.

Alright, Eeyore, we’re all sick of your goddamned moping. Put a gun to your head already.

Woah, where did that come from?

Hey, wait a minute! Tuna fish smells like cat food, it’s the same price as cat food, and it comes in the exact same little tin as cat food. Wake up, people! We’re eating cat food here!

I just realized that, for all its magnificent glamour, Wheel of Fortune is basically just a glorified version of hangman.