Beaded curtains

One thing I’ve never understood is why some people hang those dangling strings of beads in their entryway. What culture are we even trying to emulate here, guys? It’s as if these people are saying, “Allow me to make it slightly less convenient for you to enter this room.” The stakes are even higher if somebody passes the beaded curtain immediately in front of you, because now all the strings are swinging around in crazy directions, and no matter what you do you’re going to get whapped. How about rigging up some knives to these strings of beads? Why don’t you just go ahead and stab me for entering your living room?

Hopefully next time I have to pass a beaded curtain I’ll have a good pair of scissors on me. Then I’ll just tell my host, “Here, let me help you with this,” and begin maniacally cutting the shit out of their beaded curtain as they look on in horror.

5 thoughts on “Beaded curtains

  1. Why don’t you express your views on the new Harry Potter book? Did it surpass your expectations or were you left with unanswered questions?

  2. I recently heard a commercial on the radio for AAA insurance. The company boasted that “AAA insurance makes a great gift!” I’m sorry, but I beg to differ. If someone were to present to me, say at Christmas time, with such a thoughtful and selfless gift of AAA insurance I can assure you, sir, that I would be every bit offended. What kind of fucked up anomaly of a gift is insurance? Basically by providing me with said gift, you’ve not only prevented me from actually appreciating it unless I risk my life, but have also subconsciously asked me to wreck a perfectly good vehicle to benefit from it.What kind of fucking socially inept moron would gift insurance to someone. I can’t even wrap my mind around the presentation of said gift, which I believe would follow such a script as this: “Jenny! Hey BFF, happy freakin’ birthday! Wohoo you just turned 21 girlfriend and I bought you the BEST present! Seriously, hurry up and open my gift. Yeah, you read that right. I bought you AAA insurance. Umhm, I’m the worst friend ever. Please go involve yourself in a metal, mind damaging, blood mangled mess so you can use my gift. Love you!” Retard! If you’re the type of socially crippled, bat-fucked moron that would give such a stupid gift you should be ducktaped to a metal chair and beat with a tube sock filled with bolts and wood screws.

    hugs n kisses, carrie

Leave a Reply to Penney Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.