March 24, 2001: Cloning
Call me crazy, but when science cloned that sheep a few years ago, I had the impression that we’d soon be seeing some crazy kangaroo/turtle hybrid splices and wacky combinations like that. I guess I forgot how damned lazy science is. Since cloning that sheep, nobody’s even been trying to clone anything. They got to the Sheep Level, and then they quit. That’s so lame. I mean, if you’re just going to make one sheep, don’t even bother. Sheep have been making sheep for years, and nobody’s putting them on the cover of Time magazine. How do we even know they actually cloned that sheep? They could have gotten it from any farm in America. Those scientists can clone my ass.
The one bit of cloning news I heard about in the last few years was when it was released that they were planning to take DNA from a frozen wooly mammoth and then attempt to clone that. That’s perhaps the dumbest idea in the history of science. I can picture a guy in a white lab coat saying, “You know, there really aren’t that many animals above humans on the food chain. We could really use a bunch of giant furry elephant-type animals with giant tusks who could stampede over the human race and then feed us to their young.” Didn’t these people see Jurassic Park? This cloning extinct death-animals idea is only going to end in tragedy. I’d rather have them stick to sheep. Or better yet, cure a freaking disease.