It being summer like it is, I decided to get what is known as a summer job. After a painstaking job selection process, I selected the job of becoming a waiter at a place called Comedy Showcase, because they were literally the only organization in all of Ann Arbor which would hire me.
Becoming a waiter is a bad move by me, because I’m bad at acting friendly, I don’t listen well and I’m also a little clumsy. However, I do have a policy as a waiter which I think other waiters should aspire to, and that is to always hand people their checks face up. For some reason, most waiters assume that the amount you pay for your chicken Caesar salad must remain confidential, and they constantly hand back people’s checks upside down. I think they feel that if they give you your check face up, the guy at the next table is going to be like, “Haha! Your bill is $21.29! You little jerk!” But I really don’t think anybody cares what your tab is because it’s not sensitive information.