Street intersections

It is unacceptable when a street, upon coming to an intersection, takes a 90 degree turn, as if it were actually an automobile. This happens on Lake Lansing road in East Lansing: you reach a four-way intersection, and Lake Lansing goes ahead and makes a left-hand turn. Oh, no warning or anything. It’s no big deal. It’s just kind of like, “Oh, were you trying to stay on Lake Lansing? Then you probably shouldn’t have gone straight, because I’m over here now. The street you’re driving on now is Eat Shit boulevard.”

The sole purpose of a street is to go in a continuous line in an obliging manner. That is why we name streets—to follow them, not to be dicked around. If you turn left at an intersection, congratulations, you are now on another street. I don’t really care what you call it, but it cannot be the same goddamned street you just came from.

City planning commissioners have no conception of logic or dignity. I’ve seen an intersection where a street is somehow intersecting with itself—if you look at the two perpendicular green street signs that form a cross with one another there, they both display the same name. How is this even possible let alone not retarded? There are also streets that stop suddenly, as if they had a quick errand to run, before mysteriously continuing on a few miles away. Why are these streets so mental? You can’t just have streets do whatever the hell you want them to, and I’m sick of this absurd nonsense. It is for this reason that I now refuse to travel any other way than via railroad train.

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