Rotating sprinklers & interlude tracks

Michigan State has discovered a way to transform its students’ rudimentary walks to class into a challenging diversion by placing a series of rotating sprinklers near some of the sidewalks. For example, where traveling to my math class would normally be a ho-hum five-minute practice in monotony, it is now an intense battle of skill and timing. If I misjudge one of the constantly-revolving sprinklers by even a few seconds, I’m certain to get soaking wet. Thanks a lot MSU, I really appreciate having to go through this fucking obstacle course every time I go to math class. If it’s not too much trouble, could you also include some walls of flames for me to go through? And don’t be afraid to let a few hungry tigers loose. The more challenging my trip to class, the better.

Changing pace a little bit, do we really need music CD’s to have interlude tracks? Is there really an interlude demand that I’m not aware of? I’ve never heard of somebody saying, “Hey, check out my new CD. Track eleven is my favorite—it’s a thirty-second faux answering machine message! I love listening to that thing. Oh, and check out track eight—it’s a fifteen-second inside joke that I don’t get! It’s too bad they interrupt all these great interlude tracks with music.” The honest truth is that interlude tracks are whack.

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