The Q-tip package claims itís dangerous to use Q-tips to clean your ears, but I think thatís crazy. Maybe itís my rebellious nature, but I use them to clean my ears practically all the time. Sometimes I actually like to jam Q-tips all the way inside my ear canals and mop up cerebrospinal fluid. What do I care? I donít need to be mothered by Unilever Corp. or by anyone else in the toiletry industry.

Iím not even sure what else you could do with a Q-tip other than scoop out nasty ear wax. I suppose Iíve occasionally used them to clean out my Nintendo cartridges, but thatís probably also violating some sort of Q-tip provision. ďPlease do not clean your NES cartridges with Q-tips. Doing so might result in a dangerous NES adventure. Please refrain from receiving any utility whatsoever from our product.Ē

16 thoughts on “Q-tips

  1. You know, technically it isn’t good to blow on the carts, since the moisture of your breath will have damaging longterm effects on the contacts. Applying diluted isopropyl alcohol with a Q-tip will promote healthful working cartridges in the future. But if you’ve ever been on a romantic date with me, you’ve already heard me explain this (right before the segment where I lecture you about politics).

  2. Q-Tips are for cleaning ears. Period. Sure there are other uses, but that’s what they’re made for. But that’s beside the point. They do more damage than good. All they do is push wax against your eardrum if you’re not a level 37 zen master of unnecessary ear canal cleaning. Then you’re convinced that you’re so glad you bought those Q-Tips because your damned retarded ears have plugged -themselves- full of wax again, and now you’re compelled to try and scrape the wax off your eardrum, leading inevitably to lacerations, and punctures of this very sensitive membrane. It heals, sure, but with scar tissue, causing hearing loss. Now let’s examine the purpose of earwax, hmmm? It’s anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, and self-cleaning. That’s why you end up with earwax in the outside of your ears, which you can easily sweep away with a finger or washcloth at no undue risk. Now, when you assault your ear canal with abrasive cotton wads, what happens is that you start to damage the mechanism responsible for moving the ear wax out, leading to more wax buildup, and more frequent ‘cleaning’ of your ear canal, making stuffing wax on your eardrum more likely. Also, you irritate the area, and remove the beneficial wax, leaving yourself vulnerable to infection. Ear infections can lead to: hearing loss, balance problems, meningitis, and death, like that poor dumb fuck the other day. The point? Lay off the fucking Q-Tips and just wash your Pinnae, for the love of sanity already.

  3. we like to call cleaning out our ears with Q-tips “eargasms” in our home.

    ’nuff said.

    who the fuck wouldn’t do something so very, very pleasurable?

  4. god bless everyone. our almighty lord has a special plan for every one of you. a stich in time saves nine. a bird in the basket is worth two in the bush. heaven helps those who help themselves. don’t cry over spilt milk. don’t count your chickens before they hatch. never use q-tips. haha! fooled you in to thinking it was age-old old-wife fodder. now you’ll never use a q-tip again!


  5. You know what Q-tips are really for? They’re for taking a piece off, rolling it in a little ball, and dropping it in your spoon to filter the cut out of the heroin, coke, meth, or whatever else you’re shooting up so you don’t get a chunk of coffee in your vein and die when it hits your heart. That’s what they’re for.

  6. actually on the box it has a caution thing that says do not enter ear canal. use only as directed. entering the ear canal could cause injury keep out of reach of children. to clean ears stroke swab gently around the outer surface of the ear.

    it also says q-tips can be used for applying make up, cleaning computer keyboards, electronics, detailing cars arts and crafts, and applying ointments

    I put the q-tip in my canal. but actually the reason I’m on this sight is cause I just hurt myself. my friend accidentally ran in to me and it hurt very bad

  7. I clean my ear canals everyday with Q-tips. It’s a daily routine and addiction in part because the more you do it the more the canal itches, (i.e. after a shower). So be careful so it doesnt turn into a habit like it did to me and hear fuckin ringing all the time at sporting events or at the clubs.

  8. No one is going to recommend cleaning ears with qtips and of course the package says not to but there wouldn’t be a market for the little things if people didn’t stick em in their ears. I think people get preachy about the subject because they are jealous of our squeeky clean ears. When I was a kid my ears used to plug up all the time and I would have to go to the doctor all the time to get them cleaned and then they would just plug up again. When I was about 6 I started locking the bathroom door and cleaning my ears with qtips everyday. Problem solved. I’m now 27 and haven’t had any blockage or infection. The trick is clean them lightly every day. If you run out of qtips and let wax build up for a week or so thats when you might push some againsts the ear drum. SO, don’t run out of qtips. If you over dry your ears, just put some oil or lotion on the qtip and lube them up. Its better than sex.

  9. ps. always uses real Qtips not the other brands. And start with clean ears, if you have a lot of wax use hydrogen peroxide or some other method to get it out. Once your ears are clear of any big pieces you can use qtips. Start by wetting the qtip and pushing it all the way to the ear drum. Pull back a bit and start twisting it back and forth against the walls of the canal. You will feel the cotton expanding, now pull it out. Always do it this way so that you are pulling wax out. Try to leave a slight coating of wax over the skin. If you clean too much put some olive oil on a fresh qtip and give the canal a good coating.

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