Some people enjoy topping off a declarative statement with the word “period”—for example, “The best snack is blueberries. Period.” Guys, there’s no need to sound out your punctuation, and doing so doesn’t make blueberries anymore delicious. Also, saying the word “period” actually constitutes a completely new sentence, meaning you now need to employ an additional period. What you’re actually saying is: “The best snack is blueberries (period) Period (period)” So if you want to be grammatically correct you have to say, “The best snack is blueberries. Period. Period. Period.” But now you’re in a kind of quicksand, because each of these additional periods will also require vocalization—which adds yet more sentences and yet more periods. What I’m saying is, if you want to legitimately sound out all your punctuation—and apparently for some reason you do—you need to sit there saying “period” all day, infinity times. And all of this could have been avoided if you simply said you enjoyed blueberries, and we would have just kind of imagined the period in our heads.
Sometimes saying “period” isn’t enough an affront to the spoken word. Occasionally I’ll hear some guy end his statement with “Period! End of sentence!” For example, “You people need to stop eating my blueberries! Period! End of sentence!” Come on, man, what’s the point of that? It’s not like ending your sentence assertively precludes a rebuttal. Just because you’ve said a complete sentence doesn’t mean I can’t chip in with a new sentence. This sort of technique only works when you say, “End of conversation!” because then the other person is locked out from a response. When people say “end of conversation” to me, I think to myself, “Oh man! The conversation seems to have ended and I didn’t even get a chance to respond.” The only thing to do at this point is say, “Begin punch to the face,” and then you punch them in the face.