I have developed a new technique for when you’re trying to attract a person’s attention at the bar. Most people order their prospective mate a drink, which is fine—if you want to play that tired little game of cat and mouse. If however you actually want to leave an impression, consider having your waitress send them over something to snack on. From across the bar you will be treated to the following scene: there will be a confused conversation between the waitress and the girl you fancy, followed by the waitress gesturing toward your table. Signal with your index finger or a thumbs up that the food is indeed for her to enjoy.
For the rest of the night the girl will be eyeing you—with a look of trepidation, maybe, but at least now she knows you’re not just kidding around. Not every food item works equally well, so if it’s available on the menu, play it safe and order her chili cheese fries. Regular cheese fries will do in a pinch, but you’re really not going to get anywhere without the chili. There is something special about the way people eat chili cheese fries when they are bewildered out of their mind. The best food to order them is a large bowl of soup, especially when there’s an entire group of girls. Instruct your waitress to place the soup in the center of their table with a single spoon. This doubles as a fun gambling game to play with your friends: Who will take the spoon and begin eating the soup? Will they ask the waitress for more spoons? Whatever they decide to do, I’m pretty sure that this is considered checkmate. You may now approach the girl of your choice and receive your make out session.