Sometimes people refer to objects located diagonally across from one another as being “kitty-corner,” as if kitties are naturally found sitting diagonally across from other kitties. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen cats sitting like this, let alone precocious little kittens. For one thing, kittens almost never sit still, especially when a second kitten is around to play with, and for another thing, the only time a kitten does sit still is when it’s eating. This means that the only way you could reasonably expect to get two kittens to sit kitty-corner from one another would be to position their food dishes in a carefully-measured diagonal fashion, which seems like an elaborate undertaking just to allow the phrase “kitty-corner” to make any sense. But if I ever get two kittens, this is precisely how I’m going to position their food dishes, because two kittens eating diagonally across from one another strikes me as being amusing.

Another thing that makes no sense is when somebody says “long time no see.” What are you, Chinese?