57 thoughts on “Bottled Water Taste Test

  1. Why didn’t you do a taste test of Poland Spring? Or tap water. I like to filter my tap water in a Brita so it tastes more like Dasani and less like Fiji, which I only buy because of the bottle design. Also there is smart water too.

  2. eric, your wit and glamour while writing never cease to amaze me. i loved this article almost as much as i love you. almost. i can’t wait to come and visit you! bye.

  3. Heather, I would have reviewed Poland Spring and other waters, but I ran out of things to say about water by the second sentence of this article. Plus, I’d already spent about $10 on the waters I did review, which was three times the budget of my Mystery Bag article. I’m still trying to figure out why I actually bothered buying these waters, since I could have just lied. Plus it took me like an hour to figure out how to make bubbles in Illustrator. This article was very stressful to create.

    And Penny, don’t be alarmed by your feelings of love for me. You’re only human.

  4. This article did two things for me. The first of course was enlighten me to all the mysteries of water, and in doing so, all the mysteries of the world itself.
    The second is a little more alarming. It made me terribly thirsty for any one of these brands. However panic arose when I realized that I cannot acquire any of the above “flavours” of water as I am a Kiwi and in NZ we only have one brand of bottled water, and thats Pump. And it tastes like wet mule.

  5. Actually, my favorite brand of water is hose water. That’s the kind that you get from your garden hose – it has a pleasant metallic taste, very earthy. I’m waiting for the powers that be to bottle Hose Water for me.

  6. there is a difference
    the true test of a water is if
    it can be drank chilled or at room
    disani and aquafina are good if not great
    just discovered a great water, niagra
    arrow and another brand are awful

  7. You should’ve tried Dannon water. While I agree that most waters taste about the same, Dannon puts SOMETHING in it that gives it a horrendous aftertaste.

  8. Read the bottles, they’re not quite all the same. I know for instance that Dasani purifies/distills its water (I can’t remember which) and then ADDS salt back in “for taste.” That’s kinda ridiculous.

  9. Eric,
    I’ve been claiming for years that all those bottled concoctions taste the same – but no one would listen, Thanks for taking the time (and money) to conduct this taste test.
    I’m looking forward to reading about your comparisons of table salt brands, virgin vs. extra-virgin olive oils, and the big one: Cola flavored sodas (where you can again try a virgin).


    that made me want to drink crystal whatever, the first one. lol great article.

  11. Such a hilarious testing adventure. The truth is that waters (in gallons) are far different in quality. The piped water here in western PR is impossible to drink, so I have been forced during my 9 years of retirement here seek the better ones. My favorite, after jumping here and there for a while, was Carib, but I got a batch that had a funky taste and was replaced with more of the same. I was reading that distilled water helped the body to remove toxins better due to the kidneys not having to cope with laden minerals. I found a brand called PurAgua and got a hint of this same funky taste in a 10 case batch after about 3 years using this brand, so the owner himself brought 6 4/gal cases to replace what I had left. All the way from east PR (about 85 miles). I was really impressed as he sampled and agreed, telling me records would help them determine axactly what occurred on the date involved. Two years ago, the grocery chain (Pueblo) pulled up operations, and as I previously had trouble with their hit and miss stocking, gave up on that brand and went to Walgreens. Their silver Springs brand has a hint of this same funky taste, but I have lived with it for 3 years now. This has been clumsy, since they stock in 6/gal cases that can’t be stacked and are flimzy. Then yesterday, right under my nose, I saw Glacial brand by BMF water in Sam’s. I have looked in Sam’s before to only find a couple different small bottle brands. I do not know if this is in Sam’s and Costco only here in PR, or in all stores, but as someone experienced with bottled water, know it is the best of the many tried. I will get more my next trip back, enough to last in case they’re out on a future visit. I have contacted Walgreens and challenged them to try BMF Glacial against theirs, and telling them bye bye to their 6/gal cases. So this is now my brand, unless there is another funky batch in my future. And the price is good at 72 cents per gal.

  12. Hey buddy,

    I wanted to say that your write up about the water taste test was halaroius. Definitely a treat as I was doing a search on how to conduct a water tasting test to prove to my female friend that water. And to prove that the poland springs water she swears is god sent is not. Thanks again I really enjoyed your work. I am going to check out your website.

  13. Hehe, I agree wholeheartedly about your rating for all these. Except Dasani. It tastes like ass. And I don’t know if it’s just me, but I am a little freaked out when there is an actual ingredients list on a bottle of water. Especially when salt is included. If I wanted to drink saltwater, I would just go take a gulp out of the fucking ocean and puke it up. And then, just to annoy the shit out of me, after the salt it says *adds a negligible amount of sodium. So why the hell did they add it in the first place?

  14. Ha, I am doing a paper on bottled water vs. Tap (I believe bottled water is a joke) But I have been pouring over information for the past two days and this was the break I needed. thanks.

  15. you people are all nuts. someone please do a real study to see where this water is really coming from? crystal geyser assured me their bottles were bisphenol free, but i don’t believe them.

  16. Yes, water has flavor.

    The flavor of Dasani actually varies based on the region of the country where you buy it. I remember reading the label in Texas and it said the water came from Fort Worth Municipal Water supply (at a buck a bottle). The source is different depending on the region.

    Poland Springs is available in many parts of the country and seems to have a similar flavor everywhere.

    Fiji water is possibly the best water I have ever tasted. However, when I buy it in continental US, it tastes a bit like plastic. As a result, I don’t buy it very often.

    Another good water is called Hawaiian water (marketed in Hawaii as Menehune water). However, if it sits on the shelf too long, it also tastes like plastic.

    Read the label for the source before buying bottled water. I have found water with the word “Spring” in the title, that according to the source listed in the fine print, was not actually spring water. (I hate that.)

    Distilled water tastes bland to me. Additionally, when I drink only distilled water for a few days, I start to feel dehydrated like I can’t get enough to drink. Maybe it has something to do with the low sodium. I don’t know.

    Tap water often tastes like chlorine, although that also varies by city.

    By the way, if you smoke, you have impaired your sense of smell. As a result you may not be able to taste (actually smell) the differences in flavor.

  17. you are hilarious and a wonderful, witty,creative writer…Karena
    a definite distilled drinker from way back,although the occassional Perrier(glass bottle only ) for its lithium lift is a favoritea nd always with a squeeze of fresh lime !

  18. — Great article; it’s gotta be me, then; I’ve always thought Dasani tasted a little different than any of the others available in Northern NY, like it had more minerals, or something like that.

  19. Why not eliminate botteld water completely and drink from the good old fashioned tap. If you don’t like that taste, consider a whole house water filtration system. My parents have LifeSource Water and it taste better than bottled water.

  20. What could have been a great article was tainted and not finished because ya had to show you are a “with it guy” and make the comment about jerking off in a bottle and tasting “Better than Christ’s blood”. You come across kinda plastic yourself.

  21. You haven’t tasted bottled water until you try this PERFECT water. It’s Purified, Mineralized, Ionized Oxygen rich water. The bottle has no BPA so it’s a green product. The CALIFORNIA Quake Soccer team drinks PERFECT.

  22. …indeed, the article about the bottled waters are written with wonderful humor…now, how about boiling RAINWATER then bottle it for your consumption???…it’s raining season now on guam and i will surely make an attempt with this experiment, just to see if my palate agrees…():-0)

  23. I love Dasani it has a smooth & much better taste than the other brands almost as if it were right out of a mountain spring! and as for those who call us names and tell us to drink out of the tap – this is my soda pop, my treat just like those who buy coke or pepsi, the only thing i feel bad about is the plastic bottle sitting in a landfill for years then again is’nt that what happens to the sodas or juices that come in plastic bottles?
    I love Dasani it is number one!!!

  24. Ah, but don’t you see? That was the point. I’m sure he thanks your amazing powers of perception for validating it.

  25. Egads, too retarded to understand my own sentences right now. It was actually correct before I ‘corrected’ it. Carry on!


  26. Ok good sarcasm I’ll give you that. But there is a subtle taste difference between waters. Texture is more vast of a difference. Not to mention still water vs. sparkling to varying degrees. Look at labels, I dare you to make these claims that it all “tastes like water” if you drank one with 40 mg of dissolved solids per liter and a different bottle with 2000 mg TDS.

    By the way, FIJI is awesome. It’s the only water I actively seek out over others and yes I’ve taste-tested myself.

  27. Here I was….truly enjoying the humor….you’ve got a new fan…..then you had to write that f-word!! I’m tired of being offended by unneccesary profanity especially by someone talented enough not to need it.

  28. All I can say is many thanks for writing this hilarious article!! I was crying with laughter!! Excellent work!

  29. “I’m tired of being offended by unneccesary profanity especially by someone talented enough not to need it.”

    Being offended is a choice. It will be a bit step for humanity when folks realize that they can influence their own reactions to the world around them.

  30. The quality of your writing…10/10. The quality of your tastebuds…1/10…

    You obviously have never tried Nestle Pure Life. It makes you want to puke. Some water does taste worse than others! There is a world of difference between the taste of Evian and Aquafina/Dasani. Aquafina and Dasani taste like sewage water…just a touch better than Nestle.

  31. Thank you for writing this article. I had a blind taste test at work today because my coworker didn’t believe me when I used the word “slippery” for Dasani. I was able to distinguish between the two waters without knowing which was which.

  32. Well @ruththatruth, I’m gonna enjoy my DELICIOUS DESANI in my cubicle where terminology like “slippery” doesn’t exist.

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