March 28, 2007: Hella
People in Northern California have adopted an unconscionable piece of slang, which is “hella.” It doesn’t mean anything. Most slang is convenient shorthand or a colorful way to express something stupid, but “hella” is an adverbial intensifier which can be arbitrarily inserted into every sentence, and it sometimes is. I do not exaggerate. I live across from Berkeley High and hear phrases like this all the time: “Man, this shit be hella whack!” and “I gots to teach my students hella biology.”
In the last three hours alone, according to anecdotal evidence, things have been hella: cool, cold, hot, silly, good, bad, decent, hellish, apple, giraffe, Watergate Scandal, the, 1934, potatoes, $3.07, and hella. You can also say “hecka,” if you want to rob people of even more life energy. But I don’t know why I’m even talking about this. If this slang migrates outside Northern California and into the American consciousness, the problem will become indelible. I know it’s just an inane little word, but until you hear it said fifty times within a single hour like a jackhammer going off inside your skull, you have no idea how big a nuisance it can be. Signs are indicating that usage could already be spreading. I think I even heard somebody answer their phone, “Hella?” You must listen very carefully to what I’m telling you: “hella” must be contained. We’re all at risk. It is the colloquial avian flu.
Julia wrote:
You think it’s bad with ONE made up word? Try coming to Oromocto New Brunswick. People make up full sentences. And the words that are English I can barely understand. I swear to god, if I hear the words “I seen ‘er” one more time I’m going to have an seizure. One day I was sitting in English class, and when my teacher said it for the 10th time in that brief span of an hour, I screamed “SAW!! YOU -SAW- HER!”. Needless to say I’m not sure if I’ll pass English class now.
Posted on 29-Mar-07 at 5:59 am | Permalink
Jesus wrote:
People are idiots. We need a hella epidemic. Possibly AIDs. Thin out the population nicely, and all.
Repent, bitches.
Keep on representing the westside.
Posted on 29-Mar-07 at 9:34 pm | Permalink
wickensworth wrote:
Jesus, you’re so hateful sometimes.
Posted on 30-Mar-07 at 1:39 pm | Permalink
Daz wrote:
There was an episode of South Park about this word thing a few years ago. Well worth seeing.
Posted on 04-Apr-07 at 12:02 pm | Permalink
Pancho wrote:
I have una amiga that lives below me and she is from San Fran and loves to say Hellllla alll the time and I do believe it will never blow over porque she’s been saying it for a couple ’s anos(years).
Posted on 06-Apr-07 at 2:33 am | Permalink
Scott Slifer wrote:
I am FROM Northern California … and I take hella offense to your rant! It’s a damn good thing your hella funny!
Posted on 10-Apr-07 at 6:54 pm | Permalink
Benchiktovchik wrote:
Приветствую всех!
У меня такой вопрос,кто что интересное подскажет буду признателен.
Мы с друзьями собираемся поехать в круиз по просторам России и ближнего зарубежья месяца на два на своих машинах,но не как не можем согласовать маршрут,если у кого уже был опыт такого путешествия,может,что посоветуете.Девчонок с собой не берем,думаем,что во все городах России с этим не будет проблем,если у кого будут рекомендации и в вопросе отдыха с девушками тоже буду признателен.
С уважением Сеньчик
Posted on 05-Jun-08 at 12:47 pm | Permalink
wickensworth wrote:
Not usually, but it depends on the size of the pancake!
Posted on 05-Jun-08 at 6:08 pm | Permalink
paticus wrote:
Ohhhhhh! I can’t believe you went there!
Posted on 06-Jun-08 at 1:07 am | Permalink
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Posted on 19-Oct-08 at 9:44 am | Permalink
PsychoticSquid wrote:
Straight from an online translator.
Posted on 19-Oct-08 at 10:34 pm | Permalink
wintervssummer wrote:
I very much love summer
Someone very much loves winter
I Wish to know whom more
For what you love winter?
For what you love summer? Let’s argue
Posted on 29-Nov-08 at 3:42 pm | Permalink
Assoreaerogue wrote:
Hi people
As newly registered user i just want to say hello to everyone else who uses this board
Posted on 19-Dec-08 at 12:38 am | Permalink
unlaseUnawn wrote:
What is bumburbia?
Posted on 06-Jan-09 at 5:55 pm | Permalink