December 18, 2007: Christmas tree ornaments
Probably the worst Christmas gift you could give somebody is a Christmas tree ornament. It’s like, “Oh great, a new ornament for my Christmas tree. Which I’m about to take down because Christmas is over. This will really come in handy for the next hour and a half.” Not until the following Christmas season will an ornament truly become useful, if a fanciful decorative bauble can even be described as “useful.” Why not just give them some Independence Day fireworks? That’s only six months away. Or if you insist on mocking them with your untimely gifts, why not go ahead and have them unwrap an actual Christmas tree? I think that might really mean a lot to them. Or maybe you could surprise them with an engraved tombstone.