The other night, I was minding my own business and climbing onto the roof of a building on Main Street from an alleyway when some guy who worked at the restaurant below had the audacity to come out from inside and throw away a bag of garbage. Meanwhile, I was on the middle the ladder, and had to freeze my every movement in hopes that he didn’t look up and see me. Thankfully, he went back inside without glancing ladder-wise, and I was able to hop down and get the hell out of there, but it was a very traumatic moment for me.

On an unrelated topic, I recently lost another four dollars on poker night last Sunday. That really blows, because I always get these awesome hands like the Fisherman’s Flush, but then everyone’s always like, “There’s no Fisherman’s Flush, Eric. Nice try.” Some people simply don’t know how to play poker.