I had a test the other day, and almost every question had about five or six sub-questions. Like, on question 17 they’d ask me, “What causes earthquakes? Where do they normally occur? Why do they normally occur there? Have you ever seen the movie ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? That was pretty cool. When did Christopher Columbus discover America?” It’s like, “Hey, hey, hey, give me a freaking minute to respond. If you’re going to ask me multiple questions, please give them each their own corresponding number for Christ’s sake.

And that, kids, is the number one thing on my mind today. I guess I’m just not very deep of a person.

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