Tripod Terms of Service

Hey, what the hell happened to Slacker Wannabes? I tried to log into my account but there was only one of their generic messages saying, “News Flash (I’m not kidding, they really did write that): slackerwannabes is no longer an authorized member of Tripod. This Tripod member has been removed because they violated our Terms of Service.” What? Then I read their Terms of Service and I realized something: I had violated every single one of their Term of Services. Even the crap that didn’t make any sense. And trust me: none of it made any sense. To quote: “Lycos will promptly process and investigate notices of alleged infringement and will take appropriate actions under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (‘DMCA’) and other applicable intellectual property laws.” The Digital Millennium Copyright Act? Where the hell was I when Congress signed that? Tripod’s legal department is living in some weird fantasy world where there is such a thing as a Digital Millennium Copyright Act, and I think that I have somehow broken it.

But I think the only rule that they could have really got me on is their “Copyright Infringement” rule, even though I didn’t really infringe on anyone’s copyright (except for that guy who said that we were stealing his soul by filming him). Furthermore, it is possible—indeed, it is likely—that a third party reported such an infringement to Tripod, as I don’t think Tripod goes around looking for violations. Who was responsible for this? I don’t know, but that’s pretty weak of whoever did it. Furthermore, it’s pretty weak of Tripod for taking the site down. I paid good money for my space on their server. Alright, I didn’t technically pay them anything, but it’s the principal that’s important. Nice job, Tripod. Keep up the good work. Psyche.

Speaking of copyright infringement, how about that Napster controversy? I think that Napster should stay up—it is my legal right to steal copyrighted material. However, I do feel that they should ban the transfer of The Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out?” For the last time—I’m not sure who let the goddamned dogs out. I fucking give up.

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